#142: Roads Like Roller Coasters, Complain Motorists [Mirkai; ed:Sirocco]
The Issue
A group of local motorists have assembled outside of City Hall to protest against the shoddy state of roads in @@NAME@@.
The Debate
1. “These roads are terrible!” shouts @@RANDOMNAME@@, president of the @@NAME@@ Auto Club. “Every few feet there’s a crack, or a pothole, or a gravel patch, or the remains of someone else’s car! It’s really too much! And just look at this-” he adds, rubbing a nasty bruise on his forehead – “I got that from my rear-view mirror after flying over a bump on Main Street! These roads must be fixed! There really needs to be vast improvements made now, before anyone gets seriously hurt.”
The Results: roads are often attended by round-the-clock construction crews.
Taxes +1
2. @@RANDOMNAME@@, avowed anti-spending advocate, disagrees: “Road construction? What a waste of @@CURRENCY@@s! If people can still drive on them, then the roads are fine as they are. Spending more to make trivial repairs would just be a waste of the tax payers’ money! We should just ignore these whiners and leave the roads as they are and if the drivers don’t like that – well… then they can just learn to walk like the rest of us.”
The Results: the roads are virtually falling apart.
3. “Why on Earth is it the government’s responsibility to build and maintain roads?” asks bicyclist @@RANDOMNAME@@, pausing for breath. “Not all citizens own automobiles, you know. The government should be trying to make life better for all, not just car owners! If people want roads, then let private industry build them, and they can charge tolls to the people who actually drive on them. Leave the government out of it!”
The Results: women earn less than half the salary of men if they can even find a job.
Economy +1
Taxes -2
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#143: An Archaeological Altercation [Fiscali; ed:Sirocco]
The Issue
During the construction of a new Hyper-Mega-Ultra-Super Mall, construction workers have unearthed what appears to be an ancient temple. A furious debate has arisen between those who wish to preserve it, and those who need their retail therapy.
The Debate
1. “This is the perfect opportunity to learn more of our nation’s history!” says Professor @@RANDOMNAME@@, head of the archaeological department of the @@NAME@@ History Museum. “All building work must be halted immediately so that my team can study this remarkable piece of our nation’s past. To bury these ruins under some concrete eyesore would be criminal!”
The Result: prime commercial land is being swamped with archaeological teams.
Economy -7
Taxes +2
Culture +1
2. “It’s all very nice to get to know some more about our past,” argues foreman @@RANDOMNAME@@. “But that’s just the thing! It’s the past! We must think of the future. If you allow those decrepit fossils to take over this place, you put at risk the future of our economy! Today it’s archaeological digs, tomorrow it’s ‘preservation of the environment’. Just let me bulldoze the worthless pile of rubble and bury it under a few hundred tonnes of concrete.”
The Result: major archaeological findings are frequently bulldozed to make way for new buildings.
Economy +12
Taxes -1
3. “Behold, the hour has arrived! The Holy Temple of Firefury Amahira has been unearthed!” proclaims Yon-Zhauryg v’Klot, leader of the Cult of the Undead @@ANIMAL@@. “This land is sacred, and must not be befouled by these corporations! No-one but the enlightened children of Firefury must be allowed to venture inside our rediscovered sanctuary, where we will perform the required rituals to please the Great Goddess and prevent Her from unleashing Her wrath upon the world.”
The Result: archaeological discoveries are often followed by mysterious hamster abductions.
Civil Rights +3
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#145: Hackles Raised Over Fur Clothes Debate [Naturhio; ed:Sirocco]
The Issue
Several animal rights groups have protested the continuing use of fur as a material for clothing.
The Debate
1. “This is an outrage!” cries @@RANDOMNAME@@, president of the Be Nice To Animals society. “The manufacture of fur apparel is unethical, cruel, and disgusting! People just don’t seem to realise that millions of animals die each year in fur farms, crammed into tiny cages and suffering the most terrible treatment just so someone can look appealing and rich! This is a sick practice and must be stopped! The same can go for leather shoes and snakeskin belts too.”
The Result: the wearing and manufacture of fur apparel is banned.
Economy -2
2. “You can’t mean that, surely?” snorts @@RANDOMNAME@@, adjusting his hat, made from real @@ANIMAL@@ hide. “It’s the people’s choice what they wear. I don’t think it’s fair that the majority of the public should be deprived of fur clothes because some people are a bit queasy. In fact, if the government would allow us to stock rarer animals, we could produce even finer products. In the end, it’s up to the consumer, don’t you think?”
The Result: fur coats have become the latest fashion trend.
Economy +3
Taxes -1
—————————————————————————–
#148: Spare The Rod, Demand Welfare Activists [Eastern Newfoundland; ed:Sirocco]
The Issue
The @@NAME@@ S.P.C.C. has launched a fresh campaign to stop parents from smacking their children. They demand that the government introduce laws to ban this form of ‘corporal punishment’.
The Debate
1. Child Psychiatrist, Dr. @@RANDOMNAME@@, speaks at a press conference on the matter: “Parents and teachers must realise that smacking children increases aggressiveness, lowers their self-esteem, and can cause long-term emotional trauma! How can anybody think that it is anything but child abuse? Parents who resort to smacking their children are obviously unfit to be parents at all! We must ban this horrible practice at once!”
The Result: parents live in fear of governmental ‘child protection’ squads.
Compassion +1
Government Size +1
Law Enforcement +1
Niceness +1
Pacifism +2
Rudeness -1
Safety -2
Safety from Crime -1
Weaponization +1
Welfare +2
Youth Rebelliousness +2
2. “What are these lunatics on about?!” yells @@RANDOMNAME@@, a concerned parent. “Smacking children has been an effective form of punishment since the dawn of mankind! Outlaw it and I guarantee you the next generation will be a disorderly disaster! Children need, nay CRAVE discipline! Sometimes the only language they understand is the cane, and the government has to respect that!”
The Result: record sales of ‘child-whacking sticks’ have been reported.
Civil Rights +6
—————————————————————————–
#150: Bug ’em All, Say Police [Niziania; ed:Sirocco]
The Issue
The @@NAME@@ police force have come to you for permission to use phone taps to trace suspected criminals.
The Debate
1. “This is a great idea,” says police officer @@RANDOMNAME@@. “We can never have too much evidence in a case, and this will be of enormous help to us at reducing crime and seeing that those who deserve punishment get justice! If we could just get those silly privacy laws repealed and some funding we could find out stuff the government wants to know too.”
The Result: phone taps are frequently carried out by the police.
Civil Rights -4
2. “This is an unacceptable intrusion into the personal lives of the population,” says @@RANDOMNAME@@ while checking under your chair for bugs. “Just imagine all of the sensitive personal information that the police will pick up! Would you like someone listening to your calls to your mother or your lover? I think not! Laws should be passed so that the government and police can’t stick their big noses where they’re not wanted!”
The Result: it is illegal for police officers to carry out searches due to strict privacy laws.
Civil Rights +6
Taxes -1
—————————————————————————–
#153: Protesters Have Gone Too Far, Claim Police [Utopian Gandhism; ed:Sirocco]
The Issue
A group protesting against the @@NAME@@ government began a riot yesterday which resulted in the death of Mr. Benson, a police officer.
The Debate
1. “This is an outrage!” cries Police Chief @@RANDOMNAME@@. “The people of @@NAME@@ just don’t know how good they have it! Our nation is a gem compared to many others, but if you give an inch they will take a mile. I had to tell officer Benson’s wife yesterday that their child will grow up without a father. Do I think public protests should be outlawed? You’re damn right I do.”
The Result: protests are illegal
Political Freedoms -11
Taxes +1
2. “It all happened so fast,” says @@RANDOMNAME@@, one of the protesters. “The crowd was just chanting, you know… and then they tear gassed us. I saw one cop, this Mr. Benson, club a teenager right in the face! For what? Speaking his mind! That’s when the crowd rushed him. I’m sorry he’s dead, but the police think they have a right to do whatever they want – things get out of hand sometimes. I think the police department should keep out of the way when we’re protesting – even if things do get… excited.”
The Result: recent protests against birds flying too low have resulted in bloodshed.
Civil Rights +1
Political Freedoms +17
3. “It’s because protests get out of hand sometimes that we need a police presence,” argues PC @@RANDOMNAME@@ eventually after singing the national anthem to you. “Even violent protestors have a right to feel safe on the streets. If that means we have to die to protect the innocent, then that means we have to die. I think protests should be restricted to a designated area where police can keep an eye on the protestors. Then everything can go nice and smoothly and no one will have to worry about being beaten to death.”
The Result: protests are legal but strictly supervised.
Political Freedoms -2
Taxes +1
————————————————————————
#154: Ban The ‘Boards, Say Pedestrians [HappyFluffyBunnies; ed:Sirocco]
The Issue
The conservative Northern-based parents group of “Housewives and Convicts for a Safer @@NAME@@” has put forward a memorandum to ban skateboarding in public.
The Debate
1. “Skateboarding is a menace to pedestrians and road users,” says activist @@RANDOMNAME@@. “Not to mention the astronomical number of skateboarding-related injuries – hundreds of children flood the emergency rooms of @@NAME@@ as a result of skateboarding every year, which is costly to the taxpayers. Keep our streets safe and save a little cash at the same time. Hell, you could make even more money by ticketing those who violate this law.”
The Results: skateboarding is punishable by heavy fines
2. “Ticketing children for getting out of the house and exercising?” asks @@RANDOMNAME@@, a school teacher, in disbelief. “That’s outrageous! It’s true that skateboarding can be dangerous but so is walking down the stairs! You want to ban that too?! What we should do is pass laws requiring safety equipment for skaters – if we allocate a little bit of the tax payers’ money to the cause, we can build a skate park that will keep our children safe and away from others on the road too.”
The Results: skateparks can be found in every city.
Civil Rights +1
Taxes +2
3. “Yo, dude, I’ve got a better idea,” says @@RANDOMNAME@@ while executing a complicated 360° spin over your head. “What if skateboarding was the only way to get around? Wouldn’t that be cool? Skateboarding is cheap, healthy, and fun! Everyone should do it! You could improve, like, the quality of life for everyone by banning vehicles and making skateboarding the only legal way to travel. People’d love you for it, man. Well, apart from the guys who make cars and the like, I guess.”
The Results: skateboarding is the only legal way to travel.
Economy -16
Taxes -2
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#156: Waste Going To Waste, Says Industry Lobby [DeFranzania; ed:Reploid Productions]
The Issue
@@NAME@@’s industries have an ever-growing amount of toxic wastes to dispose of, and doing so in safe ways is becoming prohibitively expensive, leading a group of lobbyists to try and pressure the government into changing existing disposal laws.
The Debate
1. “These waste dumping laws are destroying our businesses!” rants @@RANDOMNAME@@, head of the @@NAME@@ Bigger Business Bureau. “We need cheaper ways to eliminate industrial by-products, which really aren’t as harmful as people think, such as pouring them into rivers or deep ocean ravines where they’re harmless to us. Let’s remember that the products we manufacture make your life easier and more fun!”
The Result: Animals with strange deformities like three eyes and tentacles have been seen prancing through the countryside where industrial waste is dumped.
Economy +2
2. “A better way to deal with this problem is to convince the public it isn’t a problem at all,” whispers @@RANDOMNAME@@, head of Scamcorp, an industrial think tank. “Fudge some research, declare that the chemical by-products from industrial processing and production actually make one’s teeth and bones healthier. Then, sell them to municipalities to add to their drinking water! Yes! This will not only save us the trouble of disposing of the waste correctly, we’ll be able to sell it at a profit! I can taste the money already!”
The Result: the nation’s drinking water tends to glow green at night.
Economy +31
Taxes -2
3. “These corrupt, money-hungry corporations are only looking out for themselves and their bottom line!” says @@RANDOMNAME@@, an environmentalist from northern @@NAME@@. “The government needs to enact stricter laws for how these companies can dump their waste safely, and when they poison @@NAME@@’s people and environment, the government needs the authority and manpower to enforce harsh penalties! These companies make their messes, they should pay to clean them up!”
The Result: heavy industry must go to expensive lengths to dispose of waste.
Economy -4
Taxes +1
—————————————————————————–
#157: Sergeants Are Too Nasty, Say New Recruits [Mirkai; ed:Sirocco]
The Issue
A haggard group of new recruits in @@NAME@@’s army have spoken out against the brutal conditions experienced in their military training.
The Debate
1. “It’s atrocious!” wails Private @@RANDOMNAME@@, from amidst the cacophony of a parade cadence. “We’re forced to sleep in crowded barracks, on hard cots, and do the most inhumane exercises when we wake up! Just today I’ve had to crawl through a muddy minefield, climb a grease-coated wall, and to top it all off, get mangled by an angry drill sergeant! All we want is a little respect from the officers – maybe to sleep in until noon, and not have to get all sweaty and tired doing stupid things like marching and climbing ropes. Oh, and private bedrooms too – we’re risking our lives for the country, after all.”
The Result: military barracks resemble five-star hotels.
Taxes +2
2. “THEY WANT WHAT?!” screams Sgt. Burkz, while pressing back a rising vein on her neck. “This is WAR, not DAYCARE! If anything, the training standards should be tougher! If I want to whip some pasty-faced, beer-gutted greenhorn because he can’t climb over a razor-wire fence then I should be be given the permission to do so right away! The cry-babies won’t like it, but they can run home back to their rich daddies if that’s the way they’re having it. War isn’t a walk in the park, and training shouldn’t be either. For all our sakes.”
The Result: the nation’s infamous boot camp is more brutal than most battlefields.
Civil Rights -8
3. “Training, what a load of old hooey,” says renowned spendophobe and radio announcer, @@RANDOMNAME@@. “The only thing it teaches our soldiers is how to shine boots and fight plastic dummies. We’d be better off if we just dropped them into the fight so they could learn to shoot for themselves. There might be a few accidents, but it’ll be worth it for all the @@CURRENCY@@s we’ll save.”
The Result: soldiers are slaughtered in their thousands due to lack of training.
Taxes -4
4. “There is another way, you know…” whispers @@RANDOMNAME@@, the Chief of Secret Projects and Shiny Things in @@NAME@@’s military research department. “What if we started taking children and raising them from birth to fight? We’d be able to make them completely immune to propaganda, psychological warfare, and demoralisation. Not only would that stop the crying new recruits, it’d also give us a powerful military edge. People may not like giving up their kids, but that’s why we run the country. We know better.”
The Result: newborns are being raised as mindless killing machines.
Civil Rights -3
Taxes +1
Ideological Radicality +2
—————————————————————————–
#159: Think Tank Proposes Privatised Prisons [Yejuda and Shomron; ed:Sirocco]
The Issue
In response to increasing costs of running state prisons, several government advisors have suggested allowing the private sector to play a greater role in managing @@NAME@@’s correctional facilities.
The Debate
1. “@@NAME@@’s prisons are in a ghastly state,” says @@RANDOMNAME@@, representative for several large businesses. “The state now pays a fortune in @@CURRENCY@@s each day for every prisoner. My clients will be able to operate the prisons more efficiently and charge the state far less than they’re having to pay now. With our help, those in jail will be able to get themselves jobs to do and the government can imprison as many people as they like!”
The Result: hundreds of thousands of convicts work as slaves in NATION ‘s many privately-owned prisons
Taxes -3
2. “This is just another scheme by multinational corporations to turn our great nation into a corporate dictatorship!” claims @@RANDOMNAME@@, of the Social Justice League of @@NAME@@. “Just say NO to privatised prisons. We should be closing them all down so we can begin focusing on rehabilitation anyway!”
The Result: convicted murderers are free to walk the streets provided they attend rehabilitation classes.
Civil Rights +6
3. “Private prisons?! Rehabilitation?! How utterly ridiculous!” exclaims @@RANDOMNAME@@, @@NAME@@’s toughest police officer. “Both of these proposals will simply waste resources on the scum of society. I say that we should summarily execute all violent criminals and give their property to their victims.”
The Result: criminals are executed and their property seized.
Civil Rights -3
Nationstates Issues 